


have i overrun my time or is mine overrun?

by gaytakashishirogane



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Flashbacks, M/M, Original Character(s), no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-21
Updated: 2018-07-21
Packaged: 2019-06-14 01:21:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15377586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaytakashishirogane/pseuds/gaytakashishirogane
Summary: "I told him.""Mom, I told him. I told him not to go."





	have i overrun my time or is mine overrun?

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd and i haven't written fanfiction in three years so enjoy!  
> title from [far beyond by dexter french](https://youtu.be/pXM9KBHGT9w)

"I told him."

 

His legs are shaking.

 

"Mom, I told him. I told him not to go."

 

He stands on shaky feet and it crawls up his hips. His breathing labors.

 

 

_"My name is Takashi Shirogane." The boy that walked up to Adam had an accent, the same uniform as everyone else in the school, and beautiful stone gray eyes. Adam smiled._

 

_"Adam Silva. It's nice to meet you." The two boys shake hands for just a second too long._

 

 

"I know, honey. I know you did." Her heart is breaking too. That boy was supposed to come back and become her son-in-law. She loved him like family.

 

"I told him to stay with me. I knew it was a bad idea." The shaking crawls up his thighs, sharp fingers digging into his stomach and weighing him down. His eyes burn. "Why did he go? He's so selfish. He left me here."

 

His mother's eyes have spilled over, glued to the television screen. The astronauts on the Kerberos mission have gone missing. Samuel Holt, Matthew Holt, and Takashi Shirogane have all gone missing and are assumed dead due to pilot error. The news reporters announce it like it's nothing.

 

"He had to prove himself. He just _had_ to. He's already beaten every record there is to beat, there's nothing else left." The sharp fingers in his gut twist his stomach around. He feels bile rise into his throat and tries to swallow it down. His body is already going through enough and it gives in. He barely makes it to the sink in the kitchen, spilling over what was in his stomach. It's not pretty. There's vomit and snot coming out of his nose and he's sobbing.

 

He's mourning.

 

 

_"Takashi, what's wrong?" They were in their dorm at the Garrison. He watched Takashi turn away and tense up. Takashi keeps looking anywhere but Adam._

 

_"Takashi."_

 

_"It's just another new thing to keep my muscles relaxed," he pinches the bridge of his nose, spreading his index finger and thumb under his eyelids before looking at Adam. "At least it's not more pills, right?" He grimaces. Takashi's hands are wrenching together in his lap. He knows Adam has never once judged him for his disease, but it's still embarrassing to talk about._

 

_"Well, if it's helping, then I guess it's better than pills," he smiles sadly. Knowing your best friend has an expiration date is hard to handle when you're only fifteen years old. "Is it? Helping?"_

 

_"It's enough. I just have to put more effort into staying still in drill lines." He cracks a smile. Adam smiles too. "Adam, I," he hesitates. Takes a deep, shaky breath. "I like you, Adam." His eyes dart quickly back to Adam's face, trying to process his reaction. "In more than a friend way. I've liked you for a really long time." He holds his breath. Pink spreads through his cheeks._

 

_"Oh." There's a pregnant pause. And Takashi's heart breaks. He stands up abruptly, Adam's eyes following him._

 

_"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." He turns to leave through the door and is pulled back by his wrist, his body whipping around. Takashi's head is down, trying to blink away tears._

 

_"No. Takashi," Adam slides his hand from the other boy's wrist to his hand, squeezing it gently. "I like you, too. A lot." His voice is trembling. He hears Takashi inhale sharply. He looks up. Stone gray meets bark brown._

 

 _"Can I kiss you?" Adam nods, almost imperceptibly, and Takashi leans forward, his head tilting up and going on his toes to meet Adam's height. Their eyes_ close _as Adam leans in and their lips connect softly. Takashi is on fire. It feels as though it's his new electroshock therapy. Adam's heart is soaring. It's all they could have ever dreamed of in their four years of knowing each other. They pull back and look at each other. They both smile and giggle like children, hugging like it's the last thing they'll ever do._

 

 

His knuckles are white on the sink. His face is pale. Tremors go through his body like a tsunami. He hears the tile squeak under his mom's shoes as she steps into the kitchen. She's hurting so bad for her son and she doesn't know how to fix it. No one has ever known how.

 

Adam chokes on a sob. The tears are hot and unforgiving. His heart is beating so fast that he thinks it will break. Another sob comes through and he isn't able to stop it. More come. They come. And they come. He falls to his knees and doesn't even register the shock of pain through his bones. He slumps against the cabinets, sobs wracking through his body.

 

She watches on. She hasn't seen her son cry like this since he was just a little kid. It's so much worse now.

 

 

_"Hey, Mom, it's Adam."_

 

_She smiles even though he can't see her. "Hi, dear. I miss you so, so much," She really does. She never wanted to say goodbye to her baby so quickly, but he wants to be an astronaut more than anything. "How are your classes?"_

 

_"They're going great. Takashi is still just one step ahead of me." She chuckles. It doesn't get under Adam's skin, it never has._

 

_"I bet you'll beat him one day. You're real smart, Adam." She loves her son so much. She's so proud of him._

 

_"Thanks, Mom." The line is silent for a while. "There's something I need to tell you."_

 

_All of the worst possible scenarios go through her mind. He got expelled. He got into a fight. He got demoted. He's sick. He's dying. "What is it, Hon? you can tell me anything." It's quiet again, longer this time. "Adam."_

 

_"Takashi and I are together. He's my boyfriend."_

 

_Sweet Jesus. She was two seconds away from putting her shoes on and driving all the way to Arizona. "Goodness, Adam, you can't just do that to me. I thought you were dying!"_

 

_Adam cringes at the thought, "Sorry. I'm scared."_

 

_"Why? You know I love Takashi." She takes a moment to breathe._

 

_"Because I'm with a boy. I'm gay." Like that matters to her._

 

_"Adam, that's fine. I wouldn't mind either way. I just want you to be happy. I knew something was going on between you two. I'm really happy to hear you're together now." She smiles wide. She can't wait to meet her son's boyfriend. "I'm just so happy that you told me. I love you more than anything else in this world, Adam. Nothing will change that."_

 

 

She kneels down on the floor with him. She's in so much pain. She can deal with it later. She grabs his shoulder firmly and pulls him to her. She holds his head to her bosom and he cries harder. He's clinging to the sides of her tank top.

 

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry, Adam." She whispers, kissing the top of his head and stroking the back of his hair. She holds him. Tears and snot and vomit remnants be damned. And she holds him. She holds her baby in her arms as his heart shatters inside of his ribcage. She curses every deity that is making him suffer like this. Silent tears stream down her face. She lost someone dear to her, but she cannot imagine what her son is going through. She holds it in.

 

He eventually tires. His sobs stop. He pulls back from his mother's chest and she attempts to wipe the wetness from his cheek. She attempts a smile but it just turns into a grimace. She sniffles. Her tears haven't stopped yet.

 

"Why are you crying?" Adam's voice is small. Scared.

 

"I loved him too, Adam. I really did. He was already family." Her voice is strained, hurt. She grabs a rag that was hanging from the stove's handle and pats it against her son's cheeks and down his neck. Wipes the snot from his nose. "I'm hurting for you too, Baby. It really hurts."

 

"I'm sorry." He has nothing else to say.

 

"I am too."

 

 

_"I love you, 'Kashi." Takashi's eyes are as bright as ever. Adam wishes that he could remember that look forever. Take a picture in his mind and store it away._

 

_"I love you too, Adam. I always will." They kiss softly and hold hands under the covers._

 

_"I sure hope so. I did propose to you, after all." They chuckle a little and bump their noses together._

 

_"We're gonna get married. You're gonna be my husband."_

 

_"And you'll be mine. No one can stop us."_

 

They stand up and Adam leaves the kitchen. His mom cleans his vomit from the sink. His phone is blowing up and he wants to smash it. He turns it off instead. The television is off. Probably for the better.

 

He rejoins his mom in the kitchen. He hugs her tightly and he never wants to let go. They walk together to her room. They lay down. She's holding him so tightly. Like he's five again and snuck in because of a nightmare. But he's twenty years old. And this is as real as it gets.

**Author's Note:**

> tell me how it was! i'm trying to write more, i would love feedback :)  
> find me [on tumblr!](http://marmoritekogane.tumblr.com/)  
> also i couldn't think of a better last name for adam sorry lol


End file.
